You’re Worth It

Being a mom and a wife isn’t easy. If marriage isn’t complicated enough, adding kids and the military to the mix leads to a whole other mess of problems! I got married and had my children when I was still pretty young. Over time, I’ve learned how being a wife and mother increases the chances of losing your identity, or rather, not even realizing you have an identity because it gets lost in the daily hustle and bustle of caring for everyone but yourself. 

Growing up in church and in a God-fearing home, I was raised to always go to God first for everything. But then I grew up and life hit me at full speed. Before I knew it, I had a baby, a husband who was traveling the world with the military, and no sense of self. I was alone in a brand new place with no family and no desire to make new friends. I didn’t have anyone to tell me that I may be suffering from postpartum depression, so I just spent years in a dark and low place, wondering…why? Why did I feel so lost? Why wasn’t I thriving like some of my peers? 

Why did the darkness feel so hard to come out of?

My vision of being a wife and mother was nowhere near my reality. I constantly told myself that I wasn’t good enough, even occasionally questioning the reason I was alive. However, with time, I have learned to give myself grace. I expected so much out of my life while putting in so little. I wanted to have it all, but poured hardly anything into myself. Then I beat myself up because I was not where I wanted to be. It was like being in an abusive relationship with my subconscious. I had to wake up and get out! I also had to accept the fact that even though I’m not always where I want to be, it’s alright, because I’m right where God wants me to be. 

God put me on this planet for a reason and my purpose is in the process of being fulfilled. All the hurt, pain, and darkness were for growth. It took a while to get here, but ever since I allowed God to pull me out of my depression, my focus has been self-care. I’ve learned that when I’m at my best, everything else will follow and fall into place. If you’ve ever been on an airplane, you know that they tell you that in an emergency, you have to put your oxygen mask on before you can help anyone else. You can’t help anyone if you’re passed out, and you being passed out only makes things more difficult for everyone else. I think the same applies to life. When you feel like you have to meet all of your husband’s needs, make sure your kids are being poured into, and that your house is immaculate to the point that it feels like you’re drowning in tasks, remember to put the oxygen mask on yourself before anyone else. They need you to be awake and present, not drowning! 

So to all the moms and wives out there who sometimes get overwhelmed like I do, I just wanted to remind you that self-care is so important and you’re worth it. It’s okay to take some time for yourself, whether that means locking yourself in the bathroom to take a bath and read a good book uninterrupted, waking up an hour early to get in some yoga or meditation, or even going out and starting a kickball league with other moms. Whatever “fun” may be to you, find it and carve out some time for yourself every week and see how different your life will be in a matter of months. Also, don’t forget to take time daily to talk to your Creator and ask Him to pull you out of the darkness, however deep you’ve fallen, and show you the happiness you have been craving. Pour into self, and God will pour into you! 

I’m still a work in progress, but ever since I started following this plan, I’ve been happier than ever! No longer a “homebody,” I’m out making new friends, going to networking events, and working constantly on personal development. My kids see and feel the difference it has made, and they are also so much happier AND they are more behaved (moms know how amazing that is lol). It’s a win-win all around, and I hope any mamas and wifeys reading this can be encouraged to find their peace and happiness, too. I’m rooting for you. You got this!