Tag: authenticity

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Ashley’s Truth

by Ashley McBride-Braswell

I love Jesus. 

As long as I can remember, church has been a part of my life, from my mother’s womb (so churchy, I know-LOL), I have been surrounded and steeped in the Black church. 

And I loved it. The friends, the lessons, the warmth. The after service dinners and second service repass. Vacation Bible School during the summers and Sunday morning school with the snacks. I loved the kids choir and our annual Easter/Christmas plays. I loved it all and I have fond memories but somewhere along the way, I became disenchanted. 

It started slowly when I really began to read the Bible for myself and learn the original translations, much of what I thought I knew as “Bible” as the saints say, was nothing more than doctrine. 

And then I struggled. I struggled with my sexuality and being a 20 year old woman who just couldn’t stop sinning and having sex. I couldn’t stop going out and partying, living my best young adult life, and I couldn’t escape the condemnation I felt on Sunday and how I just needed to be holy and pure in God’s eyes. I couldn’t reconcile the rhetoric of the church where almost everything and every feeling is a sin. The constant threat of hell and it all became so arduous. Would I ever make it in?

I really tried. I followed Heather Lindsey and all the women in her purity movement. I committed myself to purity and giving up worldly things, and being the chaste, Godly woman so that God could reward me with a Godly husband, except all the church guys I dated where the worst.

So I stopped and I just started praying. I wrote my heart’s desires on sticky notes and pasted them to my wall. All my prayers for myself, family, friends, and issues in the world. I opened myself up to learning about different religions and stopped seeing people through Christian lenses instead as seeing them as people. 

And I slowly started to let all of it go. I didn’t care about someone’s faults or sins, I stopped caring about who others sleep with or their gender. I stopped requiring the world to hold on to my square box of beliefs and standards. I embraced people for who they are and what they are and I learned that the same grace God has given them to figure it out, He has given to me.

Do I still struggle with the indoctrination of church still? Absolutely. But I remind myself that I don’t know and I don’t have all the answers, and what I do know, is I’m still learning. And so I give others the grace I want to receive and treat them how I would treat myself. After all the two greatest commandments are 1) to love God with all your heart and 2) to love your neighbor as yourself. Matthew 22:36-40

Ashley McBride-Braswell

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Be Bold

by Sarina Campbell

Walking back to my room from the Office of Spiritual Life at Oakwood University was a bit different that day. I had just come from leading our weekly meeting and the cloud that had shown up without invitation seemed to linger. It was a sunny day, but I was feeling heavy and cloudy. The weather outside did not match how I was feeling at all.

Being a ministry leader was rewarding, but it could also get lonely. You’re surrounded by people and encouraging them in their spiritual walks even when you’re not quite sure where you stand at times. A lot is expected of you and part of that expectation involves others assuming how strong your faith is at any given time.

As I got closer to my destination, I startled myself as I suddenly looked up to the sky and blurted out words that terrified me: “Why don’t I believe you love me?!” Even typing that brings me back to that moment. I heard God say, “Thank you,” and I immediately asked, “Why?’, to which He replied, “For being honest.” The conversation ended there, but it was the beginning of a new understanding for me. That exchanged revealed to me that I had become accustomed to showing up to my relationship with Christ in a timid way. I had not been taught to just ask the questions that burned in my mind. And when I felt abandoned, I didn’t let myself really feel it. I didn’t allow myself to acknowledge my uncertainties because I wasn’t “supposed” to be unsure, right? But my conditioning was incorrect.  And the crazy thing was that Scripture didn’t even share that sentiment!

I’ve learned that God isn’t scared of my doubts. God isn’t taken aback by my worries. God isn’t shaken by my fears. God is not rattled by my questions. He’s inviting our faith AND our questions. God wants all of us…all of me. I love how this passage reads in The Message Bible:

“Now that we know what we have—Jesus, this great High Priest with ready access to God—let’s not let it slip through our fingers. We don’t have a priest who is out of touch with our reality. He’s been through weakness and testing, experienced it all—all but the sin. So let’s walk right up to him and get what he is so ready to give. Take the mercy, accept the help.”

Hebrews 4:14-16 MSG

If you’re reading this, I hope you realize that your questions are not silly or unwanted. I hope you embrace a picture of a God who welcomes your fears and wants to ease your mind. My walk with Jesus is ever-changing, and I’m learning that there is no one “right way” to reach Him, because He’s reaching out for us right where we are. And for that, I’ll always be grateful.


Sarina Campbell is a Business Owner with a youth and young adult ministry background who has a heart for both Jesus and people. Also a wife and mother, she enjoys sharing her thoughts on spirituality, life, entrepreneurship, and love. 
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Kara’s Truth

By Kara M. Young

Hi. My name is Kara. I was raised to be a Christian, but about 10 years ago, I made the decision to embark on a journey of spiritual and self-discovery. I started questioning the things I’d been conditioned to believe and I started learning to look at the world beyond what I’d been able to see through my own rose-tinted lenses. However, the more I grew, the less I fit in….anywhere, really. I knew there were people who were asking the same questions I was asking and who were on similar journeys, but I was never able to find an established religion or group or label that didn’t try to box me in. I didn’t want a millennial-friendly, repackaged version of the same things I’d been told my whole life, either. I had valid questions and real-life problems I was dealing with, but I couldn’t find a place where I was free to believe and grow as I saw fit and where I could actually do more than just talk about the pain and suffering in the world. I always hoped that one day I could create a space for people like me to be free, and it’s honestly crazy that my dream is becoming a reality.

The One Rule Church is a movement rooted in the belief that unconditional love is the highest moral imperative, and that imperative transcends time, culture, and religion. In other words, this isn’t your normal “church.” We call ourselves a “church” because we are a spiritual community, and we think it’s important to reclaim that word from all of the negative things it has come to mean for so many. For us, the difference is that we don’t pretend to have it all together. We don’t have one set belief system that everyone has to conform to. We don’t have a bunch of rules that everyone has to follow. We don’t believe that any one person or group has “the truth.” We’re just a group of people who are trying to make sense of the world and our places in it. We know we’re no better or “more enlightened” than anyone else and that we need to surround ourselves with people who are different from us because that is the only way we can continue to challenge ourselves to grow and become better. We believe that love, in its purest form, can be revolutionary.

Unconditional love is transformative. It brings healing to so much of the pain life has caused all of us, and healing those wounds allows us to view each other more clearly. Being able to see our humanity reflected in the next person despite our differences helps to dispell the fears associated with those we formerly couldn’t understand. And then love calls each of us to the highest level of personal accountability. It’s not about trying to change other people or looking to other people to confirm or deny what our responsibilities to each other are. It’s about each of us choosing to be the change we want to see in the world around us and setting the standard for ourselves rather than merely falling in line with what someone else has decided is “good”. It’s easy to believe that our responsibility on this planet begins and ends with not doing the “wrong” things. It’s harder to learn to live with the awareness that being your “brother’s keeper” means doing what’s actually best for someone else rather than getting caught up in our own presumptive opinions and agendas.

But don’t get me wrong lol I can’t paint a “picture perfect image” of myself and I have no desire to. I don’t always love the way I know I’m supposed to and some people may look at my life and say it’s too flawed to be starting something like this. I’ve only been married for about 2 months, but I have a son who is almost 14 months old (you do the math lol). I lived with my husband before we got married. I dress how I feel and it’s not always “modest” lol I like to go out with my friends when I can and I don’t always say the right things and I’m super sensitive and you know what? I’m not ashamed of any of it. It’s me. It’s real. It’s my life and I’m beyond proud of the person I am today and of the fact that I’m even still here because that means I didn’t give up, even on the days I wasn’t sure I could keep going. And if you’re reading this, I’m proud of you, too, because it means that you haven’t given up, either. It means I have the opportunity to tell you that you matter and you’re good enough and you deserve to be loved unconditionally because we’re all imperfect. We all mess up. None of us do everything right and you don’t have to be more than what you are to be seen and cared for. And I’m not just saying that because it sounds good. I’m saying it because I get it. I needed someone to say it to me. And that’s why it means so much for me to be present and give that to as many people as I can.

So that’s me. That’s why I’m doing this. I’m here because I need it as much as anyone else might need it and I’m just hoping that all the love-minded people can band together, support each other, and share our hearts with whoever needs that. If that’s not for you, no hard feelings lol I still love you. But if it is for you, I’m excited to move forward together in making love the solution 🙂

xoxo -ky